LAUNCHcast radio officially rocks ass. For those of you that don't know about it, it's built in with yahoo messenger (find it here). You can pick different genres of music and different artists and based on what you rate them, will depend on how often they play on your station....that and my new icon kicks ass.

Today has been an off day. Last night, I went to see Alien vs Predator with my brother and his girlfriend Shayla (I hope the spelling is correct). It was alright but I wasn't really in the mood for a movie. In the car on the road home, I couldn't help but ponder Danny (my brother) and Shayla's relationship. Shayla has a heart of gold and treats Danny really well - it's obvious she loves him very much - and while I detect that Danny loves her a lot as well, sometimes the way he treats her, I'm afraid he's going to lose her. He talks to her like such complete shit sometimes...I kinda snapped at them both in the car last night and told them to stop fighting over something that was really really stupid.Today, I went to a memorial service for my cousin Ricky's grandpa Ken (who is not related to me in any way). Felt out of place because I really didn't know anyone there...was having a bad day to start with so I just wanted to get the hell out of there. Finally convinced my mom to let me take the car and head back to her house, layed on the couch and watched TV until I could finally convince her to leave to take me home. She let me drive and she kept nitpicking at my driving and trying to get me to talk about what was bothering me when I really wanted to be left alone. I pulled the car over and told her to drive because I just didn't feel like listening to her all the way into the city. We got in an argument about it, so I started walking away. I was angry and upset and I wouldn't get back in the car. Yes I acted like a two year old throwing a hissy fit but I just really wanted to be left alone and after 20 minutes of her following me really slow in the car, I convinced her that I wasn't getting in the car and she drove away. I walked about 3/4's of the way home from my parents house (for those that don't know, they live out in the country) and I still just want to be alone. So I'm going to go do that.

Today was somewhat of an uneventful day. I skipped my cardio again today because my legs are still really sore from the workout the other day. Played some City of Heroes with some friends from work for awhile until that got boring. Went out for a really nice lunch with a friend which was a really nice escape from the apartment for at least a little while. Spent a few hours just curled up on the couch reading, something I've been doing alot these days. Mikey and Dave told me they were going to come over and hang out with me for a bit. A bit later I got a call from Leanne asking me if I wanted to go out to the bar with them, which I declined because I work early tomorrow morning and really, the bar scene doesn't impress/appeal to me anymore - once again I was ditched for them going out to the bar. After that, I wrote in my journal for about an hour or so, hammered out alot of the things that have constantly been plaguing my mind lately and even if it is only a short term reprieve, it was nice to get them out of my head on to paper. I've realized that I really do like writing, even if I'm not that good at it. My head always seems much clearer after I sit down for a little while and just hammer out my thoughts. Eventually, perhaps I'll turn around and write a story or something other than what's in my head...perhaps not. As with all, time will tell.

Today seemed like a busy day but it really wasn't. Went to the post office with Mike and picked up a package that was mailed to him. Then we went and picked up Dave and took off to Southgate to do some banking and so I could get some money from Dave for the plane tickets I bought so he could go see Roxy. Dropped a bunch of money on some whey protein to help me with my workout program at GNC. After that, we went off to Club Fit - Dave and I signed up for memberships and worked out. Today was legs, back and bicep day...after a few of those exercises, my legs felt like mush and I was walking kinda funny. Cardio day will be interesting tomorrow...We walked home from the gym and just messed around on the computers for a bit, more out of boredom than anything else. Dave went home and Mike went to bed so I was stuck spending the evening with myself. Went and had a nice hot bath to relax my aching muscles and read for a bit. Took a cool, refreshing shower after that and then played some City of Heroes for a bit, more to kill time than anything else. Was supposed to go and hang out with Jobi on Whyte tomorrow, apparently she needed to get some stuff done so I took a rain check and that was pretty much my day. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to do tomorrow...guess we'll have to wait and see what comes up.

Went and spent last night at my parent's house to visit my Aunt Janet and Uncle Marvin before they departed for home. Was a nice little visit - hopefully they'll be back for Christmas with my cousins who I haven't seen for about 3 years or so...can't wait for that.While the visit was nice, I can't help but feeling a bit bad. I kinda kept to myself for the majority of the night and buried my nose in a book, speaking mostly only when spoken to...but my family is awesome like that, they'll leave me alone if that's what I seem to want.Tried to get some more solid plans with my cousin Mike who will be moving out with me and my current room mate Mike in November. It's so far away, I don't really think about that too much. For right now, it's getting through the work week and trying to decide it I'm still going to go on my trip in the fall. On one hand, it would be nice to get away for awhile and I've already got the time booked off. On the other, I'm not sure if I can afford it and the list of people I need to visit keeps increasing while the length of my vacation stays the same. I think it's almost funny when all you hear is sad songs when you're feeling down and that adds on to the sad feeling that you have. Almost. All in all I'm kind of in a weird spot right now...I guess I'm struggling with trying to figure out who I am as a person, something which I thought I knew but later discovered perhaps I don't know as much as I think I know.